Strange how spending a month at home with a new baby can give you a different perspective on your life and where you're headed. I've learned more than how to effectively change boy diapers. Like perhaps things aren't the way they are because there's something wrong. Sometimes...as much as I have never liked this explanation...we are the victims of circumstance.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going around blaming my problems on everyone else and refusing to take responsibility for where I'm at. I realize that I have created the circumstances that are, in turn, shaping my life to some degree. But I guess I hadn't realized for whatever reason that those things were, in fact, shaping my life and what happened within it.
I've found out that I'm not as bad of a housekeeper as I thought. When I'm home with the kids all day, even when Matt isn't home, I still get things done. And despite the fact that I have a brand new baby in the house and I'm still trying to figure out how in the heck to deal with 3 kids, I'm still able to get the dishes and laundry done and even sweep the floor once in a while. That might not seem like much, but it's a huge revelation to me at this point. I remember being able to keep up with all that stuff once upon a time...but I lost it when we moved out of our old house and hadn't really found it again until now. I know that once I go back to work, I'll probably misplace that ability again. But it's nice to know that it's more because I just don't have time to get it all done, than because I'm a lazy butt (well...most of the time anyway...).
I've also discovered again that I have a pretty fabulous husband and a pretty darn good relationship with him too. We see each other so rarely on our regular schedule that we don't have much time to talk about anything unrelated to the kids or the house. It's nice to know that we actually have a lot in common and are capable of having intellectual conversations with each other still. Who knew?
So basically, the whole experience has been good for me in more ways than one. While the main purpose behind being home for this time was to be with the baby and the kids to give us all time to adjust to a new little one in the house, I have ended up realizing some things that will hopefully help me when it's time to go back to our "real life". I'm so glad we've had the chance to do this.